It’s a state of being a lot of us are looking for.
By definition it means ‘an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady’. Naturally the ebb and flow of life causes the scales to tip slightly here and there but what if you can’t get it back to even?
I work with a lot of people who feel their life is completely off balance. Whether it be a major life event such as death, divorce, or an unexpected health issue, or working parents that are completely overwhelmed with life and need help to get their homes in order to function properly. The scales have tipped along the way and they need help.
So how do we find it?
My advice to my clients is to stop. Stop buying useless things to fill a void, stop saying yes, stop feeling the need to do it all. Unless you have a housekeeper, a cook, a personal assistant, a bookkeeper, a home organizer on call, and an endless checking account you cannot, absolutely cannot do it all. Something is going to suffer. Your sanity, your health, your relationships, your home, your bank account, trust me, something is going to suffer.
Where do I start?
Take a breather. Find one day to turn the world (and your phone) off. Assess your life. What do you want out of your life? What do you want out of your relationships? What are your dreams? Look around your home, does it bring you joy? Does it bring your family joy?
Next, call a family meeting. Check in with each other. Are you filling your schedules to avoid something? To keep up with your friends? Do you feel pressure to look like you’re doing it all? Is every child maxed out with school, homework, sports, and lessons of every kind? Do you have any down time at all?
After you have done all this and had honest conversations with yourself, your spouse, and your family, what can you do to find some balance?
Rest. Make one day out of the week a rest day. Decide what true rest looks like for you and do it. Your body, your brain, and your soul needs rest. Resting lessons anxiety, reduces stress. Relaxation clears your mind, helps with your thought process, and helps you make better decisions. It renews you from the inside out.
Sit in silence. When was the last time you did this? It may be uncomfortable for a few minutes, but try it. Just sit and be quiet. It’s so refreshing. My favorite time to be quiet is in my car. I drive a lot around the Dallas Metroplex and I love doing it in silence. It’s wonderful.
Go for walks. This helps me so much. When the world is crashing in on me and my life feels out of control, I put on my shoes and walk. I walk and I think. I don’t listen to music or podcasts. I just walk until I feel better. I look around me, I’m quiet. I listen to my heart. It’s truly my favorite thing to do.
Say no. Like I mentioned above, saying no is a huge step to finding balance. You don’t have to give a reason why either, just say “no, I can’t do that right now”. Period.
Stop useless spending. Buying “stuff” without a reason is useless spending. “Just because it’s on sale” is not a reason to buy it. That useless stuff turns into clutter. Clutter you don’t need in your home. Clutter you don’t need in your home. Don’t make impulse purchases. Don’t shop your feelings away. Have a reason for why you are buying something. Try it, it takes practice but pretty soon you will have trained yourself to say “no, I truly don’t need that”.
Ask for help. It’s ok to ask for help. A trusted friend, a parent, a sibling, your spouse, a professional. Talk about it and say it out loud. I need help. It’s the first step in claiming back your life. I always tell my clients the hardest part is actually calling me, once they’ve asked for help, the rest is all downhill. You don’t have to do it alone.
Dear friends, I want to tell you I speak from experience. I’ve been there and made all the mistakes. I’ve walked that path. I’ve suffered imbalance and I’m here to tell you it can get better…..If you want it to.
Are you ready to find your peace? Claim your life back? Fight for balance? It’s worth it. You’re worth it. Your family is worth it. Start today.
I’m here to help,